Monday, June 7, 2010
mermaids and cops...
The other week I had gone to a flying squirrels game with my family and some family friends. Danielle and Rich have a son who plays little league with my brother and we all rode in their car to watch some baseball. Some side notes to this story. Rich works for the county Sheriff's office and used to be the guy who would train all incoming new recruits to become Chesterfield County Police Officers. Since giving up his training duties, he has come across some hilarious stories, and the one he told coming home from the baseball game is priceless. It goes like this.
"Officer Brown recently started the new class of recruits for the police academy. They all came into orientation thinking it is going to be a walk in the park after the first day of no yelling and nothing but help when trying to get accustomed to police procedures. After they are issued their uniforms on the second day they get a rude awakening when all the fun and games are over. Hell and drill time start immediately. It is Officer Browns job to get up in the newbie's faces and yell and scream and whip them into shape. From day one, there was one girl who stood out as not being able to cut it as well as the rest of them. Freshly 21 with all the hopes in the world to become an officer, she was practically in tears after the first round of yelling was over. Lets call her Amy. After the first week of training, each new recruit is issued their police vehicles. All vehicles need to go through inspections from Officer Brown before being allowed to do anything with them. Apparenlty, Amy had not completed the inspection of her vehicle properly because Officer Brown went off on her again.
Officer Brown: "RECRUIT! HOW MANY YEARS OF MY LIFE HAVE YOU SPENT WANTING TO BECOME A POLICE OFFICER?"
Amy: "All my life SIR!"
Officer Brown: "AND EXACTLY HOW LONG HAS YOUR WHOLE LIFE BEEN?"
Amy: "Since I was 11 years old SIR!"
Officer Brown: "WELL I SUGGEST YOU GO BACK TO BEING WHATEVER IT IS YOU WANTED TO BE BEFORE YOU WANTED TO BE A POLICE OFFICER NEW RECRUIT."
Officer Brown: "AND WHAT EXACTLY IS IT THAT YOU WANTED TO BE BEFORE BECOMING A POLICE OFFICER?"
Amy: "I wanted to be a mermaid Sir!"
(You heard that right, a mermaid! At 11 years old)
Officer Brown: "A MERMAID!!! WHAT IN YOUR MIND MADE YOU WANT TO LOSE YOUR FINS AND PICK UP A GUN RECRUIT!?"
From this point on I am busting out uncontrollably in the car laughing at this most recent story from Rich. His delivery of the whole account was spot on and since then I have told sooo many people this situation. What is even funnier, is that Rich actually found a mermaid book in the dollar store to give to Officer Brown to relate more to his new recruits! What a riot this man is.
Anyways, thought I would share this little story with you all!
"Let's leave these lives tonight, you can find us by the trail of our insides, they were left at the scene of the crime. We've tampered with evidence, finger prints were left behind..."
-Make a Run For It by Hit the Lights